Saturday, August 1, 2009

Each page has one joke and a comic picture. Well, let’s start with some great laughter and
then at the end is a bonus section called “A Few Sick Ones For You!”

So go out there and Laugh your ass off!!!

At most cases Windows applications are very complicated. They put a large number of traces on your system. Especially, such things as entries in Windows Registry, Program Files and Shortcuts. In general the problem lies in the Uninstaller (simply, an uninstaller is the opposite of an installer. During the uninstall process, uninstaller removes all the components which were installed) that can’t properly remove all traces in Windows. Also, some users simply don’t use the Uninstaller. They just delete the application’s program files from the hard drive. Other traces still stays untouched. Large amount of junk traces will make your PC much slower. Smarty Uninstaller 2008 Professional! Powerful Professional Uninstall Manager with intuitive and easy to use interface. Manage and remove Windows® applications.

Stolen In 60 Seconds

Hi, I've got a job for you. It will be an easy task , a little jeweller's burglary. Also one antiquarian will need to be looked in on. We'll make an inspection of his collection. Well, what do you say? We don't call anyone to break the law, we don't teach you how to take away money and we don't give advice on how to grow rich fast, but we present Stolen In Sixty Seconds you've never played a game like it! The variation of tasks, ease of gameplay and the stunning brain twisting quests are the components of a cocktail which will suit even the most carping gamer's tastes. This unique project, with combined genres of strategy and puzzle, reveals all of thevdark corners of the criminal world. Just taste the illegal freedom and take a walk in the reality without any bans. You will seek out executors for the intended robbery, supply them with the appropriate equipment, plan their activities, pay intelligencers and take care of many aspects of your quest. Game features: * A combination of stepwise planning of a burglary and the action itself in real-time mode * 12 thieves tools * Increasingly complex quests * About two dozen original operations * Smart sound and vivid graphics * Realistic atmosphere from a real gangster's den

Lines Bundle

The new game pack represents two popular games with simple rules, intellectual tasks and captivating game play. There are several different game modes and with constantly increasing game difficulty, it will not let you look away, even for a minute! Lines Bundle is all you need to pass some time, entertain yourself and test your intelligence and intuition. The game pack offers the ideal marriage of arcade and logical elements, a variety of levels, colorful graphics, pleasant music, several game modes and many diverse and amusing features. It's impossible not to fall in love with Lines Bundle! You will be able to play against the clock or to set up dizzying records; achieve high scores; or try to overcome dozens of original levels. Several game modes give the opportunity to get as much amusement as possible out of Lines Bundle, and flexible rules help you to find something new in this game every single time you play. Just load it up and you'll be inveigled into a vortex of smiles, excitement and riddles which get ever more complicated the more you play! Game features: * Classic and well-loved "Lines" gameplay * 2 game modes - arcade and classic * 66 (40+26) original levels * Bright attractive graphics * User-friendly interface * Possibility to tune the game to your taste * 2 game types: lines and squares * Stylish soundtrack

Diamond Islands 2

The best-selling island puzzler is back with more than ever! Get up to 120 in-depth block rolling puzzles to conquer - including the all new challenge mode that will test your logic and strategy. Step into an exciting tropical adventure to please the gods. Can you find all of the diamonds and return the totem to its place


Jet Ducks

Duck Old-timer said: "Listen, my Duck-brothers! Every autumn those people start hunting us... We are fed up with it! From now on we will fly in helmets and flak jackets; we'll be armed to the teeth and have parachutes and jet accelerators... So, dear sirs, we will do hunting our way! These men will regret every single miss because our weapons won't spare them! We'll make the hunt their worst nightmare..." They threw down a challenge on us, man... Don't slip up - stand up and fight! Lots of brand new features are waiting for you in this incredible arcade game.

This app is very nice to shut down your computer when u want to leave sth running but not the entire night or when you want to listen to some songs while you sleep. All it takes is one click to set the timer. Very intuitive and easy to use program.

Best product for optical media emulation. All DAEMON Tools features are now available in one solution — DAEMON Tools Pro Advanced. Image Editor is now included in DAEMON Tools Pro! Create new images or edit existing ones with easy tool — Image Editor. Run it directly from DAEMON Tools or Windows Explorer. You can add, replace, delete files that image contains. Don’t forget about support of various image types. Create, edit, manage and burn images with only one powerful application — DAEMON Tools Pro! Use full DAEMON Tools Pro functionality: create images using preset profiles, make necessary changes to image data if needed, compress data, split image files, protect your image information, burn to CD/DVD, emulate not only CD/DVD but also HD DVD and Blu-ray drives. Plus get even more virtual CD/DVD/HD DVD/Blu-ray drives. With DAEMON Tools Pro Advanced you have ability to create 32 virtual devices. Only DAEMON Tools Pro Advanced has a special feature for advanced users — possibility to emulate not only SCSI but also IDE virtual devices. If all English letters are already assigned to devices and there is no free one left then you can still create virtual devices but without letters. With DAEMON Tools Pro it is possible! But if your drive doesn’t have a letter you won’t see it in My Computer. How to get mounted image data on such drive then? DAEMON Tools Pro lets you assign folder to virtual drive and then access your virtual disc data opening this assigned folder in My Computer. Do you have collection of different disc images types where each has some specificity? Can’t you protect some images due to their format restrictions? Do you want all images in catalog to have a single format? — Convert your image files to Media Descriptor format (*.mds/*.mdf files). It is DAEMON Tools native format and supports all DT Pro functionality. Feel free to use variety of tools and possibilities with MDS/MDF format for disc images. What's new: - Image Editor; - Windows 7 beta supporting (SPTD 1.58); - Explorer images context command "Edit Image..."; - Agent command line parameter "help"; - mdf-file type association option; - Output image type switcher (mds/iso) on Disc Imaging dialog; - Languages updates. Bugs fixed: - Iterative DTProHlp.exe UAC confirmation at DTPro startup; - Adapters switching from Virtual Device Manager under user account with enabled UAC; - Access denied message with DTPro started under user account; - Program Compatibility Assistant issue of setup; - Lock media during disc imaging issues; - Some GUI issues with not default DPI; - Folders in Image Catalog get cloned; - Device icon with mounted image that has "Custom Icon"; - Send request dialog closing after success sending; - Tab switching in DTPro issues; - Drag & drop images from Explorer improving; - Agent: Recently Used Images icons displaying; - Shell Extensions engine improving; - Setup improving: Unicode supporting; - Some minor GUI bugs. Key features: auto update; creates *.iso and *.mds images using preset profiles; emulates up to 32 CD/DVD/HD DVD/Blu-ray drives; supports up to 2 virtual IDE devices; burning verify functionality; compresses images; performs image mounting to physical folders; protects image with password; manages image collection’s; includes image converter; monitors virtual devices’ properties; offers friendly Graphical User Interface (GUI).

We all take the Internet for granted nowadays but what your computer has to do to allow you to surf is actually amazingly complicated. Windows has a long list of settings for tuning the performance of your Internet connection. That?s fine if you?re a computer expert, the rest of us will generally make things worse rather than better ? if we can find all the well-hidden settings in the first place. Ashampoo Internet Accelerator analyzes your computer and optimizes all the relevant settings with a single click. You don?t need to know anything, just select the automatic optimizer and you?re done. The new version also includes an Internet connection speed test tool so you can test your performance directly. In addition to automatic optimization advanced users can still access all the individual settings and adjust them manually. Easier to use, plus new tools and settings:

We?ve redesigned the layout, making the program even easier to use. Everything is explained directly, you?ll probably never have to refer to the help. In addition to this we?ve also added a set of new tools and features for managing your Internet connection. Boost and configure Internet Explorer and Firefox Internet Explorer and Firefox are the two most popular browsers and you can now configure them and boost their performance right from internet Accelerator. In addition to performance-enhancing settings you also get direct access to a large number of useful browser settings, all in one place. Internet Cleaner tool Your browser saves a record of everything you do and every page you visit. The new Internet Cleaner tool lets you quickly delete your complete surfing trail, with separate settings for Internet Explorer, Firefox and Opera. Hosts File Checker Your computer?s ?Hosts? file lists the location of known Internet sites and is always checked first for the address when you access a site. Spyware and other malicious programs can use it to redirect you to fake and dangerous sites ? the new Hosts File Checker makes sure this isn?t happening. Interactive checking for key parameters In addition to optimizing your access speed Internet Accelerator can also interactively check some advanced parameters on your live connection to work out the best settings. You don?t have to use this feature, but it?s there if you want it. New features: ? Intuitive new layout ? everything explains itself ? Boost and configure Internet Explorer and Firefox ? Internet Cleaner ? quickly erase your surfing trail ? Hosts File Checker ? stop spyware redirecting you ? Interactive auto-check for key Internet access settings Included Languages German (Ashampoo ) English (Ashampoo ) Dutch (Roger Defevere) French (Jean-Yves Gelle) Hungarian (Laszlo Koncz) Polish (Jacek Milecki) Spanish (Miguel Blasco) Chinese (simplified) (Smilefly ) Japanese (yamato_takeru ) Slovakian (Milan Slovak) [b]Operating Systems:[/b] XP/Vista 32

Publisher: Wiley (May 29, 2007) | English | ISBN-10: 0470046872 | 17.7 Mb

Vista is the most radical revamping of Windows since 1995. However, along with all the fantastic improvements, there are a couple of things that likely drive you up the wall. Don’t worry, though—just join forces with author Steve Sinchak and you’ll end up feeling as though Microsoft designed Vista just for you! He shows you how to tweak logon screen settings, build custom Sidebar gadgets, personalize Aero Glass with themes and visual styles, turn your PC into an HDTV media center, fine-tune your firewall, and more.

Picture Resize Genius includes the ability to batch resize pictures, batch resize photos, and perform batch image resize functions. Picture Resize Genius includes the ability to batch resize pictures, batch resize photos, and perform batch image resize functions for the purpose of email and Web sites, or just to save space on your hard drive, or whatever reason you might have. The resizing allows you to force a specified width or height and keep the proportions, or define fixed image dimensions. Besides, the program can add a text or image logo overlay (watermark), rename file and more. You will be able to process thousands of files in a few seconds. Picture Resize Genius can keep all metadata information (Jpg EXIF,Tiff Tags etc) and creating date time for your pictures,Images and photos. Picture Resize Genius support more than 40 picture file format. And it can convert the file format to GIF, JPG, TIFF, PNG, BMP, MIFF or TGA etc. Latest Version: 2. 9. 6.2 Released Date: Jul 5th, 2009 File Size: 1.60 MB Languages: English Requirements: Windows 9x/2000/XP/2003/Vista








Winning Protection that won’t slow you down
Norton AntiVirus™ 2009 Gaming Edition is the fastest virus protection you can get. * It stops spyware, worms, bots, and other threats cold—without slowing down your PC. When you’re gaming, your protection should get out of the way. Norton AntiVirus™ 2009 Gaming Edition does exactly that.
Gamer Mode
-No alerts + no notifications = no interruptions
-Optional settings to temporarily suspend updates, behavioral scanning and intrusion prevention
-Enabled automatically when your PC is in full screen mode
-Activate manually with a quick click on the Norton system tray icon
Lightning Fast*
-Rapid Pulse Updates every 5 to 15 minutes
-Installs in less than a minute
-Adds less than 1 second to boot time
Light as a Feather*
-Uses less than 6MB memory even without the Gamer Mode performance boost
-Runs only 2 processes at a time -Performance graphs display CPU and memory usage and how little Norton is using Respects your needs
-Smart Scheduler holds resource intensive actions for when you are not using your PC
-Resource usage table shows you the what, when and how long for background actions taken by Norton AntiVirus
-Delivers consistently strong protection
- that’s why Norton AntiVirus has won more consecutive Virus
-Bulletin 100 awards than any other AV software

 

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